Mine's Bigger

In a land where bigger is better, social acceptance supposedly rests on the amount of cool stuff you have. Or at least that is what advertisers want you to think. "Buy this colone and chicks will flock to you!" "Don't be caught dead in anything other than our jeans!" "Nothing beats a Lexus!"

Adding to the need for acceptance, they also play to our need to lord ourselves. Driving by the local Wendy's yesterday, I noticed their sign read, "Customize your burger!" Another burger joint consistantly says, "Your way right away!". I remember the day when you went into McDonalds and you were shocked if the burger you ordered wasn't sitting behind the clerk in it's nice styrofoam box, waiting. It wasn't your way right away then. Oh how times have changed.

We have moved to dangerous places in how our culture/society sees stuff. We have changed how we see our personal space. We have become self absorbed people who live to get our ways in everything we do. We use our ipods to listen to our music. We use DVRs to have exactly what we want to watch when we want to watch it. We customize our food. We buy bigger and better because that is what we are supposed to do as Americans.

Unfortunately, that ideal has infiltrated the church. In the last 40 years we have created customized ministry for music, youth, children, singles, senior citizens. We customize our worship to fit people groups and help them feel like they are "getting something" out of the service. We created multiple service times to service as many as we could on their time. I could go on.

We as the body of Christ need to check ourselves and make sure we are kingdom shaped and not world shaped. We need to make sure we are living for others--outwardly or externally focused, rather than for ourselves, inwardly or internally focused. How we live, breath, act, spend money, etc. as individuals and as the church needs to be checked by those marks.

What I Love

I love the joy that my daughter has right now in her life. I love how much energy she has and the wonder and excitement that continually flows from her being. I love how she goes to bed without a fuss, how she flails herself back knowing that I'm going to lay her down in her crib. I love how she rolls onto her side and grabs her Cat in the Hat and snuggles in, tucking the blanket under her arm.

I love the cold. The last few mornings it has been sunny. The snow glistens like diamonds. There is a beauty there that I am sure many miss. Tonight it was twinkling in the light from the parking lot. Adding to the visual beauty was the crunch and squeek of it under my feet. That is when you know it is really cold outside.

I love time at home. This past weekend I had the chance to take some time away from the office and just spend time at home. Steph wasn't feeling well, so I became Mr. Mom. I took the time to cook lunch and dinner. It was a great time to spend with the family, even though Steph didn't get to enjoy it as much.

I love home baked cookies. One of the older ladies at our church suprised me with a plate of cookies tonight. It was thanks for camping out and purchasing her and some other people Madrigal tickets in October. Included on the plate were apple/raisin filled cookies. It was heavenly and almost as good as my wife's chocolate chip cookies.

I love to sing with my daughter. While we were out shopping yesterday evening looking for some Christmas presents. When Steph ran into one of the stores, Hannah and I stayed in the car (too many times in and out of the carseat gets tiresome for her and for us). All you need to do is ask if she wants to sing a particular song and she's off. Sometimes she'll say no to a song. If you start singing it, she revolts and says no until you stop singing. It's very cute, even though it's a shade sadistic teasing her like that. Last night the only song we were allowed to sing was Old McDonald. Imagine a little two year old screaming at the top of her lungs as fast as she can, ee ii ee ii oo, with a few added ee's and ii's because she loses count. Add to that silly cow moos and chicken clucks. It is beyond priceless.

As I take in these things, these bright spots of life, I cannot but help think about some words that one of my friends, Stan, shared with me a few years ago. He was remembering back to times when his kids were young. He told me of how he used to fly his youngest into bed every night, and how he wished he had done it more often. I have only had two short years with Hannah and I cannot but wonder that I have already missed so much.

Lord, make sure that I do not lose time for the right things. Make sure I am where I need to be and catching the moments that you are blessing me with, whether it is the stillness of the snow glistening, the laughter of my precious little girl, or time on the couch relaxing to a movie with my wife. May I cherish those around me with everything I have.

Pointless In The End

Have you ever had a moment where you work hard on something, then change your mind and start over? I've had multiple moments like that over the past couple of weeks. It's annoying to me. Today I took some time to respond to email that had stacked up in my inbox. As I churned through them, I found myself struggling to write and get the details that were needed formed and ready to send. After working for some time, I would just give up because I needed other bits of info that were not available to me at the time. Another example could be my plan for the personal retreat. I had many projects I wanted to do. Instead, some things took longer and a couple of other things came up. I never really got to where I wanted to be, which was ok, but not.

It happened with this post tonight. I was going to write about the last couple of weeks in my life. There has been so much that has happened. Our church finished a 40 Days campaign that was very good. I took a personal spiritual retreat with friends. I got the chance to go to Ohio and spend time with family and friends, and in the process drive for 6 1/2 hours through a blizzard. This week I'm buried under a dinner drama at the church and Christmas preparations. All the while, I'm sleep deprived because of my own idiodicy and because of a sick daughter.

Yet, as I sat here and typed, I couldn't focus my thoughts. Maybe it is because there are too many thoughts there in my mind. Maybe its because I haven't slept as much as I need to. Maybe it is because I cannot focus because of all the stuff going on this week. Maybe it is more simple than that. Maybe I don't have anything profound to say.

I am not empty. I feel more alive in my life right now than I have in months. I see things I need and want to do. I have had the time to read some invigorating things that have really stirred the constant passions in my ministry. While I was away on my personal retreat I had some great conversations with friends about life, ministry, and everything else. The gears in my head are moving at a rapid pace trying to keep up and I can get thoughts out of my head. I simply cannot get two or three to string together into something worthwhile. I cannot get it on the outside. Maybe it is God making me mute, so to speak, so that I will shut up and listen some more.

So, with that in mind I end this post on wasted times that, while good, were pointless in the end.

Locked In

Right now I'm sitting at my desk in the office. There are 30 plus Jr. Highers running freely through our building under the supervision of part of my youth staff. It is a good crowd tonight--normal kids plus some new faces and friends. They must have stopped for sugar before they came because they are extra hyper--beyond the normal Jr. Higher hyper.

My quandry tonight is how this lock-in thing ever got started? Who thought it would be a good idea for people to hang out together until rediculous hours of the night for fun? Who invented such games as flashlight tag and bloody murder? And, why are we playing such games at a lock-in? Why did Little Ceasers come up with the hot and ready $5 deal? Why do we do this so often? Wouldn't a lock-in during the day serve parents better than taking their kids at night time when they are sleeping? Would Jesus be crazy enough to do a lock-in?

I guess I'm getting old.