A Dark Night

Today I should have blogged on the rest of Mark 13 and probably all of 14 and 15.  I am behind.  I wanted to blog on the crucifixion today.  But, things have not played out the way that I wanted them to.

As I reflect on what this day means for Christians.  I've tried to keep this whole week in perspective.  And, I must admit that it has been hard.  Though I've been focused on prepping for Easter celebrations at church and so on, its been a challenge to keep the cross in front of me.  There simply are too many things around me that take away my focus.

Last night should have been some sort of group meal with friends where we shared in communion and talked about the sacrifice that Jesus went through on the cross for us.  Today should have been a solemn day of sorrow and reflection on the actual cross.

I wonder how the disciples handled the shock of the cross.  They had heard Jesus talk about the cross multiple times.  They had heard him tell them that if they wanted to follow, they needed to die to themselves and pick up their cross to follow.  They had heard him talk about how he would be treated.  Now as they see everything play out in front of themselves, what were they thinking?  Was it total shock?

The only time I really ever remember feeling a sense of helplessness like I would expect they felt that night was the day that the Twin Towers in NY were attacked.  I remember the quietness and uneasiness of that day.  As we gathered that night as a church to pray, there was an emptiness there.  Is that some of what the disciples are feeling at this point?

Did they get any sleep that night?  How did Peter respond?  Did he find a place by himself to reflect over the day, the reality of his failures and denials of Christ?  Did he sit there and play each encounter that day over and over and over in his mind?

What about the other disciples?  I am sure there wasn't any jostling for who was going to lead at this point.  Are they wondering where Judas went?

And then, there is the crowd.  The crowd proclaimed Jesus as Messiah a few days ago, laying down their cloaks and palm branches to honor his march into the city.  They saw him battle with the religious leaders, gaining energy for his unveiling as the true Messiah that they had been waiting for.  Then, in the matter of moments, their Messiah is on the cross.  Maybe the crowd that ushered him in were in the crowd that cried, "Crucify!"  If they weren't there, maybe they made it into the crowd at Golgatha.  Did they stand there in disbelief as Jesus was hung on a cross and crucified?  How could this happen?  He was our Messiah?  What is going on here?  This cannot be!

Among them, there was no hope and there was no peace.

I wonder what the religious leaders are doing at this moment.  Were they having a large celebration now that they had dealt with the problem named Jesus?  Were they sorrowful for what they had done?  Did they think they had done anything wrong?

So many questions.  So much unknown in that time as the sun went down.  I would guess there were more sleepless than sleeping that night.

How did you handle the last two nights?  Was there a constant reflection on the Jesus and the cross or did life steal away your attention?  God wants our full attention.  May we learn to have ears to hear and eyes to see.

Lord, give us sight.  Give us hearing.  Move us by your sacrifice.  Move us into action with the Good News.