At A Loss for Words

Well. What should I write about? There is so much going on around me. I could write about the never ending snow in Michigan. Yet, I live in Michigan. That's a given. And, I like the snow. Even more I despise people complaining about the weather in Michigan. Hello, if you live in Michigan its going to be cold. Deal with it.

I could write about the upcoming weekend at Statewide. It is going to be awesome, especially since some of the guys and I from South get to lead the worship there. I had the chance to lead this event with some other friends back in 1997. We were in the Holi-dome in Livonia. They had a ska band play the concert that weekend, which made the room smell like 7th grade boys. It was disgusting. Plus, I remember the speaker talking about Eve being naked in the garden of Eden, which only agitated the 7th grade hormones. Maybe I'll write about this weekend's convention next time.

I could write about how cute and awesome my daughter is. She is one of the greatest joys in my life. I could tell you about Opera Chicken or about how her imaginary husband, Louie, is snoring different now, and keeping from sleeping good. But, there would be too much to write about because lately, as you can see, there at simply too many Hannah stories.

I could write about how much I love my wife. I could tell you that I find much joy in doing the simple things for her like washing the dishes, which is one task she despises. I could tell you about the wonderful things she bakes and cooks. I could tell you about how much I love to watch her and Hannah interact, play, and giggle. But, again, there is too much to write because I love her that much.

I could write about some of the rough spots our church is having. I could write about the financial strains we are having. But, I think every church is feeling the effects of the resession/financial crisis that is gripping our country and the world. I could write about how sin within the church is reeking havoc on so many things. But, unfortunately, every church is dealing with sin within the camp--chich breaks the hearts of many, including God. I would rather not dwell on the darkness of sin today, or any day for that matter.

I could write about how encouraged I am as I serve at South. Even with the struggles that loom, there is a deep sense of faithfulness and righteousness within our people. Our elders are leading through the struggles with integrity and wisdom. Their desire to do the right thing and to push our church deeper into living out our faith pushes me forward in my work. I could write about the people in the ministries I oversee and about how they continually exceed my expectations. It is nothing but pure joy to work with the people I do. They make me look better than I am. That is a good thing.

I could even write about the joys of the internet. It has allowed me to do much ministry. Just this morning I was able to connect with a student from camp who is studying abroad in China. At the same time, I chatted with Andy, who is serving his country in Kenya right now. We were able to talk about life and encourage one another through simple clicks of the keyboard and facebook.

Yet, in all of that, I'm still at a loss for words. I don't really know why that is. There is much fear/concern in my world right now--money issues at work, figuring out where my daughter will go to kindergarten this fall, re-roofing my house this spring, how the fallout of sin within the church will effect others, and so on and so on. There are so many thoughts about the church, about God, about life going on in my head. At the same time, there is so much joy--joy with my family, with my work, with the friendships I have. The tension between the two make the conversations I am having with myself and with others about life and God rewarding, painful, intense, and, even at times, uncertain. And, I am ok with it. There is a peace in all of it.