Memories

When I was growing up, my grandmother would make popcorn balls every fall. We're not talking about the fake popcorn balls that you see at Walmart every Halloween season, packaged neatly in their cellophane wrappers and orange box. No, these were incredible creations of taste that took much time and precision to make. If you've ever tried to make candy, you know how difficult it is to be patient and boil the ingredients to the exact temperature to get a "soft ball" or "hard ball" consistency. Gram was a pro, using her 80 years of practice and skill that had become second nature. Each year she would make two flavors--vanilla/karo syrup flavored which was a lot like faint carmel and molasseses flavored. After boiling and stirring for what seemed like hours, she would somehow mix in the popcorn and coat it perfectly before forming the treats and wrapping them in wax paper.

I can clearly remember walking into her house after raking leaves around her house and being allowed to dig into the garbage bag she stored them in. I can recall taste of them in my mind as if I were eating one right now.

In his book, Sex God (which everyone should read), Rob Bell notes how specific things are able to make our minds rush back through years and bring vivid memories in an instant. It could be something simple like walking through Walmart and seeing that box of wannabe popcorn balls. Maybe its a song that you haven't heard for years that takes you back to a specific moment in your life so many years ago. Sometimes those promptings and memories are painful and haunting to us.

For me, the intriguing thing about memories is the legacy. As I reflect back on my life and work through the endless amounts of memories, thoughts, and feelings that I have had and experienced, I have two ways to react. I can allow those memories to continually drag me down and hold me back. I can think through the ugliness that I've experienced at the hands of others like being picked on in school because I was the "fat kid" and feel sorry for myself and close myself off. I can let those things so many years ago physically and emotionally shape me right now. I can let those memories feed feelings of inadequacy and hopelessness that I felt then and that I sometimes feel now.

The flip side is that I can learn from the memories and move forward. I think of the multiple times I stayed awake at night growing up, waiting for my dad to come home from a night of drinking. I can vividly recall the fear and angst I felt as I lay there waiting to see the headlights flash in my window and hear the car pull into the driveway. Out of those experiences and memories, alcohol was never a temptation for me. The painful and ugly was transformed into positive.

I believe that God allows us to learn from what we have gone through--the rush of memories both good and bad. He is able to transform things into "good news". He can take the broken lives, relationships, and experiences and transform them into something new through grace and love if we allow Him to do so. He allows us to grow from them to do even greater things. We see that continually in Scripture in the lives of people like David and Paul. So, as you go through the day today and experience the memories caused by the popcorn balls, songs, or whatever, my prayer is that you know that God can turn the broken and ugly into good news. He is willing and able, he is eager to do so.

Gram has been gone for over 15 years now. A couple of Christmases ago I attempted, with the assistance of my Aunt Kay, to use Gram's faded recipe card to make popcorn balls. It was a poor attempt that produced mutant popcorn clumps that were only a shadow of what they were supposed to be. But, as we tried, I was in the past on those cold fall fall days, unwrapping a new, perfect popcorn ball from the garbage bag. I was in the present at Aunt Kay's with my family reveling in the past and experiencing the love of family that was the soul of Gram AND making new memories and more "good news". I was in the future, knowing that what I was experiencing was something I want my daughter to experience and revel in.

Thank you Lord, for the "good news".